I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
