I could make wine with my vomit
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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