Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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