My nipple is on Facebook.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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