I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
