HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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