Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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