so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so let's talk penis.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
