So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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