I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do vagina's smell?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
