Do you still have your period?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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