So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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