Ambien. No doubt about it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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