She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
