Where is the hickey?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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