You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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