You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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