hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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