he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
