You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize