Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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