it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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