Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well you can't waste a boner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
