yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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