oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
