Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
