Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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