so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
