so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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