so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
