Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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