You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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