thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
