I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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