yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
