take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
