He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
