So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
