She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
