Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
pray to the hookup gods
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
