Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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