Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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