remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize