I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
