I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
