Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
