I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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