Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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