You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
