i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
