yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
