drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
