Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
