This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
