KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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