I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize