Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
