I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
