I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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