I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The uberlube is also flammable
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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