And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
