So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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