He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
