It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize