After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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