You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
