Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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