I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
