At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What a dumb baby whore.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
