you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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