She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
