You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
